Sideways Wine Tour

In a hotel lobby in Bucharest: The lift is attached to this day. Meanwhile, we regret that you're unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit.

In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button to try ground. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the reception.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 pm daily.

In a hotel Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel for skiers: do not walk the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On a menu in a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm trademark; limpid red beer soup with cheese dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef slices beat fashionable locals.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend coourteous, efficient self-service.

In a cleaning service Bangkok: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a clothes shop Paris: Dresses for street walking.

In a Hong Kong dress shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts of 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. They were executed over the past two years.

In a newspaper of Africa: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.

Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our camping site in the Black Forest that people of different sex, for example, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married to this end.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by latest Methodists.

A Russian chess book: A lot of water has passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon after a while.

In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horses engine revolutions - we guarantee no errors.

Ad for donkey in Thailand: Would you set up your own ***?

On a tap in the toilet Finnish: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

In the window of Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop - driving.

Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for ladies with nuts.

From Copenhagen airline ticket: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome.

Norwegian lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. Should you have any suitable food, give it to the guard service.

Office of a Roman doctor: Specialist.